Round 1 - The Finale

I seem to waver.

A lot.

I waver between wanting to write and not caring if I ever commit another word to any story ever.

There's one thing I've been saying in this blog since last year, when Round of Words in 80 days began. I said it in the first entry. I said it again in the wrap-up of the first Round 1. I said it when I came back for Round 1 of 2012, and I've said it several times since then:

I'm not a writer.

Many folks will try to convince you that if you write, you're a writer. And to an extent, I believe that's true. I don't subscribe to the hoity toity idea that you must be a published author who is making a living out of this to be able to claim the mantle of a writer. But I do believe there's more to it than that.

Simply writing doesn't make you a writer. Any boob can write a story. I'm proof of that. (Please note: I didn't say good story.) But not just any boob can be called a writer. A writer feels some drive to be writing. There are always plots, plans, characters, dialogue, twists, and even entire worlds constantly engaging part of a writer's brain. When a writer is not writing (such as at a job), the writer is thinking about writing. Television and movies are "research" instead of entertainment. (The same can be said of aspiring actors. *cough cough*)

A writer finishes one story and starts pondering what to write next. A writer writes, wants it like no one's business, and makes no excuses for it.

A writer does not look for reasons not to write. (Seems like a double negative, I know. Sorry. I'm not a writer.) A writer doesn't sit at the word processor (or with the notebook and pen) and wish to be somewhere else. A writer doesn't look at the computer (or paper) with dread. A writer wants to write. Even if tormented by the dreaded Block™, the desire to write is still there, lurking -- at the very least -- beneath the surface of the writer's mind.

These scenarios I describe? The only ones that match me and my mindset are the ones in that last paragraph. I look for reasons not to write. I sit at my computer and think, "There's a Friday the 13th marathon with my name all over it!" At times, I don't even think about writing until I get the twice-weekly email from Kait Nolan reminding me to update my ROW80 progress.

For me, November is my month for writing. It is the exception to the mindset. And yes, I'll admit that when I write in November, I feel an overwhelming sense of accomplishment, and I tell myself I'm going to carry the resulting enthusiasm through into the next year.

And I sign up for ROW80.

And lose the drive to write, because... well, I'm not a writer.


Round 1 Goals:

1. (DONE) Re-read what is written on Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
2. Finish first (and only) draft of Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
   • 500 words per day except Fridays or
   • 3,000 words per week

I never did manage to type "THE END" on the travesty that was this particular story. In fact, for many of the updates, my word count for the week was 0. I'm not 100% sure, but I wouldn't be surprised to learn that my entire Round 1 word count was less than my weekly goal.

Ryan King forced me to look at why I do ROW80 (at least the Round 1's). Normally, strangers don't influence me to do the internal examination thing, but Ryan's a cool guy. I already knew that it was the momentum of NaNoWriMo, but he asked why I do NaNoWriMo if I'm not a writer.

Initially, I did NaNoWriMo because in November 2004, I thought I was a writer. (See this blog's first entry for my history in writing.) Between then and now, that desire to create fiction went away. November stayed, though, because I had met so many great people. The one year I didn't do NaNoWriMo (2008), I was miserable. I missed the people. There didn't seem to be a purpose. I guess I missed the writing, too.

Thus the opening joke of the blog: I'm not a writer, but I play one in November.

It's probably obvious, then, that I won't be back for Round 2. Prolly not 3 or 4, either. If the pattern holds true, though, I will be back for Round 1 of 2013. Then again, I have a pretty major life change coming up. I might end up dropping out of NaNoWriMo, too. Nothing is ever certain. That's more true at this moment than it usually is.

I hope everyone who is a writer did some good stuff this round. I hope you continue to do well in everything you do. And I do intend to look in on some of you every now and then. (I'm looking at you, Ryan King!)

Take a look at how the rest of the ROW80 gang fared this round!

Check-in: Week 10, Part I

Round 1 Goals:

1. (DONE) Re-read what is written on Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
2. Finish first (and only) draft of Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
   • 500 words per day except Fridays or
   • 3,000 words per week

I probably shouldn't admit this aloud, but other than the entry I wrote on Monday to report last week's lack of progress, I haven't even thought about writing thus far this week. Heck, the only reason I remember to do these update entries half the time is that there's an email from Kait Nolan every Wednesday and Sunday reminding me to do so.

It's probably safe to say that this novel will never be finished. No big loss to the world.

Check in with the people who actually are doing ROW80.

Check-in: Week 9, Part II

Round 1 Goals:

1. (DONE) Re-read what is written on Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
2. Finish first (and only) draft of Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
   • 500 words per day except Fridays or
   • 3,000 words per week

This is the point in the program where I would normally be beating myself up. Having 0 words to report each time I do a progress report will do that to me.

Today, though, I'm not going to do that. Yes, there are still 0 words to report, but this time, I wrote words on a different kind of story. (And no, it's not the kind of story I'm adding to my ROW80 goals.)

I'm a simmer. This just means I like to play The Sims games. Even though The Sims 3 has been the game on the market for the last few years, I'm still also playing The Sims 2. This weekend, I pulled out an old neighborhood from a back-up drive and started playing. It's the 'hood for a website project that lay dormant for more than four years. This weekend, I wrote two entries' worth. (Seven households each.) I didn't count the words, but there were enough of them not to feel all gloomy and morose about having 0 for ROW80.

And no, there's no link -- my coding "skills" are trapped back in the 1990's.

Might there be progress all around the ROW80 globe?

Check-in: Week 9, Part I

Round 1 Goals:

1. (DONE) Re-read what is written on Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
2. Finish first (and only) draft of Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
   • 500 words per day except Fridays or
   • 3,000 words per week

In the comments of the Week 8 update entry, Ryan King offered me a wonderful and helpful piece of advice: Write for five minutes, no matter what. Well, actually, it was more of an order than advice, but his heart was in the right place. It would probably have worked, too, if not for the fact that... yup, I'm gonna say it again... I'm not a writer.

My problem hitting my ROW80 goals isn't that I don't have the time. I'm a slacker loner with no life -- I have almost nothing but time. My problem is more that I don't have the interest or motivation. So what am I doing here? Well, just like 2011's Round 1, my attempt to convert NaNoWriMo enthusiasm and momentum into something more lasting just... fizzled out.

Last night, I attempted to follow the advice. Er, order. I opened up my document with the intent of writing for five minutes. No more, no less. I quickly retraced the last few paragraphs to remember where I was in the story and asked two questions:

"So then what?"

"Who cares?"

It's that second question that's the killer.

Thus far this week: 0 words of 1,500. (Or 0 minutes of 5.)

Sorry, Ryan.

These other folks need no apology.

Check-In: Week 8

Round 1 Goals:

1. (DONE) Re-read what is written on Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
2. Finish first (and only) draft of Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
   • 500 words per day except Fridays or
   • 3,000 words per week

I missed the first update of the week, so we'll call this the Total Week 8 Update.

0 words of the 3,000-word goal. Again. (I make no delusions about writing today. It just ain't gonna happen.) I've pretty much quit. Again.

But these folks ain't quitters!

Check-in: Week 7, Part II

Round 1 Goals:

1. (DONE) Re-read what is written on Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
2. Finish first (and only) draft of Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
   • 500 words per day except Fridays or
   • 3,000 words per week

Somewhere along the way I forgot yesterday was Monday. That's why this check-in is even later than usual. (And it's later still, because Blogger wasn't playing nice with the web browser at work. Stupid outdated browser that they won't let us upgrade.)

I ended the week 0 for 3,000. If nothing else, at least I'm confirming what we all knew: I'm no writer.

On the other hand, most -- if not all -- of these folks are writers. Cheer them on!

Check-in: Week 7, Part I

Round 1 Goals:

1. (DONE) Re-read what is written on Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
2. Finish first (and only) draft of Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
   • 500 words per day except Fridays or
   • 3,000 words per week

I'm 0 for 1,500 so far this week. Here's a clue, flick -- If you want this book finished, you need to write it.

Here's what the real writers are doing.

Check-in: Week 6, Part II

Round 1 Goals:

1. (DONE) Re-read what is written on Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
2. Finish first (and only) draft of Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
   • 500 words per day except Fridays or
   • 3,000 words per week

The week ended at 500 out of 3,000. Did I mention I'm really not a writer? I know I did. And it's so... so true.

And the linky, in-line this time:

Check-in: Week 6, Part I

Round 1 Goals:

1. (DONE) Re-read what is written on Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
2. Finish first (and only) draft of Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
   • 500 words per day except Fridays or
   • 3,000 words per week

I wrote! Not nearly enough, mind you, but it was words. As of last night, I have 500 of the 1,500 words I should have. Motivation is still an issue.

Check in with the rest of the ROW80 gang.

Check-in: Week 5, Part II

Round 1 Goals:

1. Re-read what is written on Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
2. Finish first (and only) draft of Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
   • 500 words per day except Fridays or
   • 3,000 words per week

Well, flick? What do you have to say for yourself?

Um... I love chocolate?

Wrong! Look at your word count for week 5!

It says zero.

Exactly! And what's wrong with that picture?

Yeah, yeah. It means I didn't write at all this week. Cut me some slack; I've been sick!

That excuse only goes so far. You said so yourself in the last check-in.

Fine. You want me to admit I'm lazy? YOU GOT IT! I'm lazy!

Just so we're clear.



To be brutally honest, I just didn't feel like writing. The sickness reported in the last check-in eased up tremendously. I still have remnants, but it's not so bad now.

I'm also suffering from what happened the last time I did ROW80, in its inaugural round. As reported in March when that round ended, writing is a low priority in my life. I'm not a writer. I acknowledge that freely. Even so, I enjoy the madcap pace of November writing, and somehow keep manifesting the delusion that I can transfer that into other parts of the year.

We might have to call in Kevin Costner to motivate me. There's nothing like the threat of having to watch what is reportedly Costner's worst movie ever (Waterworld) to spur me into doing what needs doing. For the record, I despise Kevin Costner.

If week 6 produces no writing, that may be the thing I need to get the words going.

We'll see.

Here's the Blog Hop for this check-in.

Check-In: Week 5, Part I

Round 1 Goals:

1. Re-read what is written on Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
2. Finish first (and only) draft of Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
   • 500 words per day except Fridays or
   • 3,000 words per week

Hrm. Let me rummage through my Book of Excuses. ...used that one already. That one is just ludicrous. Oh, here we go! This one is actually the truth.

I've been sick for the last week or so. The reason this is more an excuse for not writing than a reason is that it hasn't been a debilitating illness. (I wrote Friday night, after all, when it was in its opening volley.) It hasn't stopped me from going to work. Or watching TV. Or checking my email every five minutes. I've even played Star Trek Online, for crying out loud! (Free-to-Play MMORPG? Yay!)

The good news is I'm on the upswing. I'm still congested and coughing (the cough is always the last thing to go), but even my coworkers have told me I sound a hell of a lot better today. (And just as I type that, I lapse into a coughing fit. Ain't that always the way?)

I can make no promises -- that's not my way. However, I can attempt to make it up in this second half of the week -- 1,000 words each of Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday? Maybe? We'll see.

These folks prolly aren't giving out excuses. Go cheer them on!

Check-In: Week 4, Part II

Round 1 Goals:

1. Re-read what is written on Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
   
2. Finish first (and only) draft of Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
   • 500 words per day except Fridays or
     
   • 3,000 words per week

I wrote on two days this past week. Sadly, I only averaged 750 words for each of those days, closing my week at halfway to my goal. (1,528 was my count, according to OpenOffice. And yes, I squashed the curly quotes bug first.) As I keep saying to my dear friend Tanya, some is better than none.

You're sure to find some success stories in the blog hop!

Check-In: Week 4, Part I

Round 1 Goals:

1. Re-read what is written on Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
2. Finish first (and only) draft of Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
   • 500 words per day except Fridays or
   • 3,000 words per week

I didn't write anything on Monday, but yesterday I wrote about 725 words. This left me 275 words shy of the average. Adding today's requirement (nothing so far), I'm 775 words shy. Whether this will come to pass today is unknown at this time, but at least I've written. Considering my lack of motivation last week and the carryover into Monday, I was shocked that any words came at all last night.

Ever onward, sez I!

How goes it for the rest of the ROW80 gang?

Check-In: Week 3, Part II

Round 1 Goals:

1. Re-read what is written on Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
   
2. Finish first (and only) draft of Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
   • 500 words per day except Fridays or
     
   • 3,000 words per week

Once again, there is nothing to report. Motivation to do this thing seemed to run out on me once I finished the re-read. I suppose it's possible that I remember the momentum and thinking what a shame it was to have to stop writing on November 30 (a mindset that is my own and not that of National Novel Writing Month or the Office of Letters and Light). In the meantime I had forgotten that the story was going nowhere and taking its sweet time to get there.

In order for this week not to be a total failure, I'm going to call this my "processing" week -- I've read the existing material and "needed time to process it" so I could "formulate a plan of attack." Or some such bull. I do have a couple of events in mind, but at the moment I don't know how to get there from here.

Why, yes... I am a pantser. How did you guess?

So that's the update this time out: No writing at all in Week 3, because I was "processing" the existing stuff. Yeah. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

How is everyone else sticking to it?

Check-In: Week 3, Part I

Round 1 Goals:

1. Re-read what is written on Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
   
2. Finish first (and only) draft of Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
   • 500 words per day except Fridays or
     
   • 3,000 words per week

Sadly, there is nothing to report. As I said last entry, I was out of town over the MLK weekend and spent yesterday recovering from the ordeal. It is my hope (and intent) to write a bit today during lunch and then figure out how I want to attack the remainder of my words this week. I'm pretty excited to write again, hard as that is to believe.

Unfortunately I have no more time to blog this morning. Since I have been out of the office for the last three business days, I have a mountain of backlog to sift through.

So how is everyone else doing?

Check-In: Week 2, Part II

I know this is late, but I found myself out of town this weekend without internet access. (It's a sad tale to be told later.)

Round 1 Goals:

1. Re-read what is written on Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
   
2. Finish first (and only) draft of Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
   • 500 words per day except Fridays or
     
   • 3,000 words per week

My Week Two ended with Goal 1 met!

Now I can concentrate on finishing the November novel. First check-in of week three is due tomorrow, so I should get to work, shouldn't I?

Check-In: Week 2, Part I

Round 1 Goals:

1. Re-read what is written on Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
2. Finish first (and only) draft of Untitled NaNoWriMo 2011 Project
   • 500 words per day except Fridays or
   • 3,000 words per week

The Actual Progress Report:
As of this morning, I'm at 75% on my read-through, according to my Kindle. (I love my Kindle.)

Everyone Else's Progress Reports

Additional Garbage Not Related to ROW80 Progress:
(You could probably stop reading now.)

The novel is largely as I remember it: Trite, uncompelling, full of cliches and contradictions, and just plain bad. (What do you expect? I wrote it.) The question other people would be asking themselves, being the writers that they are, is this: If it's so bad and you don't plan on going beyond the first draft, why finish it?

My answer is this: Out of seven Novembers, I have finished the projects in three of them. (I got 50,000 or more words all seven times, but have only typed "The End" on three of them, and one of those was done the following July.) I'm what you call a "serial starter." I start many, many projects (of varying types, actually), but follow very few to completion. I'm trying to put my November novels into that elite category. Except maybe my 2006 novel.

New question a Real Writer would ask: If you want to follow this project to completion, why stop after one draft? That's not complete. You need to revise, edit, revise, rework, restructure, revise, and edit. Why not do that?

My new answer: Because this story is not worth that much work. I never even bothered to give it a title, and that's often the first thing I do after I decide what the story is about. I just want to be able to type "The End" to bring my track record above 50%.

If that's wrong, so be it.

Check-In: Week 1, Part II

Short: Whether or not it's sweet is up to you to decide.

The re-read continues. I'm not quite half done with it. (Which I should be to be able to finish it by this time next week. Alas.) Lots of flaws and inconsistencies, but that's fine. I won't be revising it later anyway, so let them stay, sez I! I just want to type "The End" and be done with it. (That's my goal, for those of you not keeping track -- and really, why should you?)

I'll keep you updated!

How about everyone else?

Check-In: Week 1, Part I

Already check-in day, and what do I have to report? Easy... no writing.

I decided, since I was planning to finish my November novel, that I needed to re-read what I've written so far on my November novel. That way I'd remember what's happened and where I left off. It was a logical decision, actually. After all, when you write in a frenzy of words and aren't actually paying attention to what you're writing, you're bound to miss something.

A lot of somethings, as it turns out. In the first section alone, I spotted at least three statements that were contradicted later in the story. If I were planning to edit this, I'd be in for a nightmare in revisions.

The main problem in this logical decision was that it was a decision reached on January 2, the day we were supposed to start this Round of Words in 80 Days. There already exist 105,000 words on this beast, and I'm a pretty slow reader. This catch-up will take me at least all of week 1, and probably most or all of week 2. So... let's tack that onto the goal list, shall we? Re-read first, then continue the story.

And hope beyond hope that some kind of conclusion can come of this mess.

How goes it for the other participants?

The Goal Post

(Oh, look! A pun!)

It's a new year, with new opportunities to fail at the things I pretend I want to do! This time around, at least for the first 80 days, I'm pretending I want to finish my untitled 2011 November novel. And by "finish" I really only mean type "The End" as opposed to revising it or anything like that.

So... the measurable goal:

Average around 500 words a day for days that are not Friday. (This means 3,000 words a week.) This is to last until the words "The End" can logically occur. At that point, I will reflect and potentially revise / add to the goal.

Easy peasy, no? Knowing me, prolly not.

We shall see.

What are everyone else's goals?